UFC Fight Night: Moreno vs. Royvall

Aunque me duela el alma, me borraré tu nombre 

Aunque me duela mucho, me olvidaré de ti (me talking about gambling)…

We’re in the biggest shit hole of Latin America thanks to Colombia slipping up in the last ten years by just the slightest bit. It was a tough contest between Brazil, Mexico, Colombia, Venezuela, Honduras, and El Salvador but we found a winner this last decade. Give it up for the narco infested, DEA funded cess pool that is Mexico City.

There’s four early winners for me: Naimov, Dos Santos, Ziam, and Chairez. Naimov - fighting shit competition. Dos Santos - looked great in his debut. Ziam - is fighting the biggest bjj bitch. Chairez - already beat this guy, fights like you owe his granny money, board shorts, leg kicks like a mule. All the odds are pretty markedly in favor of these four and I think that’s fine. 

Aguilar va. Mendonca

My first upset of the night, I think Aguilar gets it done. I think that they’re going to make sure he wins and Mendonca has pretty sub optimal fight IQ. I just think that it’s going to be one of those decisions amongst these smaller fighters that plays to the crowd. 

Quinonez vs. Barcelos

Quinonez thinks he’s mean and tough. I think this weekend he finds out what that actually looks like at 135. Barcelos is just a ghastly sight. He’s like Gilbert Burns and Josh Emmett rolled into a bantamweight. Orc who is just full of war. Barcelos decision. 

Torres vs. Duncan 

My second upset of the night here is Chris Duncan. He’s a Scot. He’s a fucking Scot. More technically put, I like betting on guys that have one shot power and can withstand tons of CTE due to their great athleticism. Duncan ML.

Rosas Jr. vs. Turcios

They yanked Turcios off the street. The kid has to win and I think he does. Rosas by submission. 

Zellhuber vs. Prado 

I guess Daniel Marcos isn’t a soft ass punk ass bitch? I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna go against another big favorite called Daniel. I just bet against these guys, you know the drill. Prado is like 10 inches shorter but I think he will make Daniel hurt. He’s not ready, none of those Daniel’s ever are. Prado ML.

Rodriguez vs. Ortega

Yair is so much fun to watch. His striking is arguably top five in the UFC. I think he wins this but don’t be surprise if he is tested heavily all five rounds. Hammering this but I’m prepared to go through hell and back during this fight. Rodriguez ML.

Moreno vs Royvall

I predict this could be a fight of the year nominee. There is not quit in either of these warriors and this fight is truly going to exhibit all of the elements of MMA. Show this fight to anyone who is getting into the sport because I promise it will be a slobber knocker. Royvall is incredibly technical but he lacks the pop which Brandon will bring. I think that the judges will play into the public’s hands and the W ends up under Moreno’s name. Setting up the previous champion for a rematch against Pantoja at the end of the year. I was thinking about 2024’s Christmas last June, too. 

Vory Life in F# (Wockhardt Gym Bro Remix)

Hay formas de reconfigurar el cerebro por medio de terapias cognitivas simples. Juegos básicos pueden poquito a poquito ir creando nuevas neuronas hasta en personas con traumas complejos. Diferentes tipos de ejercicios de respiración pueden sanar los pulmones de fumadores diarios. Daño que normalmente tomaría años para erradicar se puede solucionar en unos meses dependiendo la consistencia. Este verano en Japón van a empezar experimentos en humanos para crecer nuevos dientes en personas que ya han perdido los dos pares. Empezarán con niños que sufren de anodontia - y hay un gran optimismo sobre la eficacia de este nuevo tratamiento. Un estudio reciente de la Universidad de East London ha descubierto que realizar ciertos ejercicios aumentan la potencia del golpe de la mano de poder entre los boxeadores hasta un 24%. Durante siglos, la gente pensó que nacías con esta característica o no. El 24% es un aumento enorme, especialmente si se tiene en cuenta que solo se necesitan 5 PSI para noquear a alguien.

Y donde más no cabe un alma alli mete a darse caña 

Alright so basically, bro, peace out, bro

Tom Brady had the Buccanneers practice certain plays inside during their Super Bowl winning run because there were windows facing the training outside. Nobody else on the team thought of even doing that at their own home facility. Zhang Zongchang shot cannonballs into the sky as a sign of rebellion against his city’s rain god. It proceeded to rain the next day. I’ve started dreaming again, recently. It’s not easy for me to dream, but I have been. So, for this next birthday, just get the faraday bag, the empty vegan pill capsules, and the Pegasus 2.0 upgrade. Make it all easier. 

Es como si me pongo un casco que me deja penetrar la estratosfera sin quemarme la cabeza. Siento un calor como si estuviera crucificado. Me enciendo y casi ni recuerdo lo que pasa. Ahora que hay segunditos me voy frenando a solo dos mil. No hay tiempo para estas cosas. Pero me ofrezco el viajecito cada vez. Gracias por todo, en serio. Que nunca llegue un día de arrogancia. Ni tampoco un sin imaginar.

There’s more asses than stars, they say. I’d like to remind them that when they’re taking pictures of asses and stars, not to capture any trees. Trees are some of the most easily geo-locatable objects in the world. Even a few branches are enough to pinpoint you anywhere, anytime. Add to that some building or landscape and it’s only a matter of time before your coordinates are marked. Picking out stars and asses is a process predicated upon precaution. Think about that next time you go to Martha’s Vineyard. Maybe then there won’t be a nasty plant at your dinner reservation. A least think about it. Because what’s a player to do, if his favorite flavor is new. Candied durian. 

Cowboy o pirata? Yo me siento como quiero, con la carita de siempre. Como el bicho, siempre presente - ahí - para que se vea. Amigo, no se puede olvidar uno de ser feliz, de disfrutar del día, de hablar con la gente, compartir de la vida. Jaja si y no te olvides del bicho. Que siempre tienes que recordarte del bicho!

Una de mis vecinas cuando estaba creciendo fue una groupie de Rod Stewart durante los años ochenta. Ella y sus amigas todas tenían un tatuaje de un pez que supuestamente era en honra al rock n rollero. En las noches del verano cuando se habían tomado entre cuatro y cinco cartones de cervezas, se quitaban los brasieres y se ponían a nadar en la piscina con la música de Stewart retumbando. Más de una vez me vieron espiándoles desde el cuarto de mi hermano. Tenía solo diez años pero no les importaba. Nada les iba parar de bolear sus pechos gigantes de silicona por toda parte. En esos tiempos aprendí cómo celebrar de manera correcta. Que lástima que se divorcio de su esposo solo unos tres o cuatro años después de habernos movido a ese vecindario. Nunca supe por qué terminaron. Ella le dijo a mi hermano que presentía que su esposo era homosexual pero también oí qué el se quiso divorciar después de descubrir que era una stripper.

I recently made close to a thousand dollars by completing the NLP certification course for a friend of mine who didn't want to do it. He's middle management at a tech company, raised on public schooling, never really had any money to his name...I wanted to let him enjoy his new found success instead of boring/educating himself with NLP. NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming's. According to their website, NLP is: 

"...a system of concepts and models from some of the greatest communicators the world has ever known, distilled into workable models, first by a small group of people at the University of Santa Cruz in the 1970s. Since then, millions have learned it and thousands have become NLP trainers, taking the original work to new levels."

They also define it as, "the study of the structure of subjective experience...[and] hypnosis." If I had to put my own definition to it, I would say that NLP is a manuscript on how to propagate auto-suggestive oppression amongst the proletariat. The system cloaks itself in intellectualism in order to soften the overhanging exploitative tactics. These pieces of shit think they can take animal magnetism and just defile it. Would recommend others crucify themselves like I did in order to save a friend. 

Human Factory (Part 2)

Outside of that, Kevin wasn’t instructed to do anything but sit. Earlier in the day, he was sent a video link from HR which showcased all the accoutrements available at the factory’s gym. By the looks of it, the gym has everything Kevin needs for his two workouts of the day. When 5:30PM hits, Kevin heads to training. Since it’s Monday, he’s doing plyometrics followed by stretching, red light therapy, and sauna time. Prior to starting, he drinks a quick protein shake, puts on his five finger toe shoes to enhance foot muscularity, and straps on his athletic performance monitor to track his training data. Today’s workout is all about enhancing pliability and increasing explosiveness (Kevin feels like his three cone shuttle drill time is dipping). He likes his body to be prepared for both longevity and performance. Thus, his workout routine breaks down in one of two categories: lifting in order to have a strong back and legs, or refining his motor skills and balance. While he’s half way through his workout, a sweet fragrance begins to fill the room. It’s this aroma with a bit of a vinegar smell which punches you quickly then fades. Visibly, Kevin could make out almost a mist laying over the room. Once it’s over, Kevin goes back and tears through the rest of his jump rope set - only slightly smelling the scent again towards the end of his time in the studio room (but not seeing it). Before leaving the plant, he takes a mild temperature shower with all natural shampoo plus body wash, and exfoliates with a personally tailored serum. It’s 7:17PM so time to hop on the electric bike and head home. As part of his nightly routine, Kevin drinks two smoothies (1 protein and fruit, 1 natural greens powder, cow liver, egg, and unpasteurized milk), spends some time researching investment options (fintech along with military defense have been strong this quarter), and finishes with reading some peer reviewed articles on a new coding language. Exactly 90 minutes before bed, he takes his daily dose of magnesium threonate in order to ensure quality rest and increase neuroplasticity. And before he closes his eyes, he applies some retinol cream on his cheeks in order to diminish some dark spots that are creeping up (the cream can’t be exposed to UV or fluorescent light). He sleeps on a Japanese futon next to a window directly facing east in order to best align his circadian rhythm. This was one of his two main requests when applying for an apartment at this complex. That his apartment have a window facing East, and that he be far away from the control room of the building. Bedtime is around 11:40PM with waking hours being around 6:40AM. Now it’s time for Kevin to sleep. Morning routine: sun time, electrolyte water while in cold plunge, first workout of the day (full body movement as instructed by Mike Chang), shower with mild temperature water, skin routine with salicylic acid, fruit smoothie with raw honey, a vitamin cocktail (vitamin K2, vitamin D3, boron, multivitamin, zinc) and, finally, a 18oz mushroom tea (made up of 14 different mushrooms, lemon juice, and water). The factory is only a mile and a half from his modern apartment complex. Another perfect day to take the electric bike and soak up some more natural Vitamin D. As soon as he walks through the main front doors at the factory, he is stopped. The receptionist hands him $200 with a smile. The laptop assigned to Kevin, contrary to the day before, has several instant messages waiting for him this morning. One of them is from Scott letting him know that he still has some paperwork to finish up. Kevin hadn’t met Scott yet but he seemed to be his immediate superior…[TO BE CONTINUED].

UFC Fight Night: Hermansson vs. Pyfer

Gamble responsively. Why? Because weeks like last week will happen. The world will fall on your head when Charles Johnson decides to become the greatest, most awkward 135 pound boxer of all time. Oh, and don’t forget, Chuck Buffalo breaking my poor, little heart again. The damages have already been covered, don’t worry about me. 4-9 to kickoff the commencement of all instinct, shooting from the hip, roping and riding 2024 isn’t ideal but we will bounce back. 

Daniel Marcos vs. Aori Qileng

There’s something so punchable about a Daniel. I’ve said this before. Smug, condescending bastards is what they usually are. From the original one to now. “Oh, look at me, I can tame lions.” “Oh, look at me, my name means ‘God is my judge.’” “Oh, look at me, I can interpret dreams.” Attention seekers the lot of them. Daniel Marcos has gotten away with not fighting in his last three scheduled bouts due to some late pullouts. He’s been lucky, but the UFC isn’t going to let him be that lucky. They’re going to feed him to another pressure fighter with a chin. I like it. Aoriqileng is an underdog because Marcos has more versatility in his striking, but I think it won’t matter in the face of pressure. From the hip 2024. 

Fernie Garcia vs. Hyder Amil

Amil was scheduled to fight Baghdasaryan which should tell you what the UFC think about his talent level. They’re now feeding him Fernie…the -190 line is easily worth it. Amil is built like a Lego. All head. He also has insane wrestling pace. I like that combination over three rounds.

Zac Pauga vs. Bogdan Guskov

I won last week from an overweight heavy weight, I’ll take my chances again. Guskov fought cans in the Siberian tundra in front of a bunch of alcoholics. The odds are the odds. -125 Pauga.

Devin Clark vs. Marcin Prachnio

Brown bear wins because he’s the better MMA fighter and Prachnio has no fight IQ. The line is the line because they want your money. They want you to bet against the boring guy with the boring name. -250 Clark makes sense but you won’t find me near it because I don’t want to fall asleep while I bet.

Loma Lookboonmee vs. Bruna Brasil

Double LL hits so fucking hard. Muay Thai is wonderful. The roots, the culture, the training, the ideology. Brutal martial art and Double LL is one of the best. Hammer, hammer, hammer (I don’t care what the line is). 

Bolaji Oki vs. Timothy Cuamba

Oki is a big light weight while Cuamba was a guy struggling to make feather weight. Keep that in mind and add to it that Oki has been improving his wrestling. There’s some great MMA coming out of Central Europe (Belgium, Switzerland, Netherlands, France). Oki ML.

Trevin Giles vs. Carlos Prates 

I saw Prates in the contender series and that’s all I really had to do in terms of research to prep for this fight. Then, I watched his fights in Brazil. He’s not just on a streak, he’s on a war path. Giles makes sense as a match up just so the UFC can up Prates’ star. Prates ML.

Rodolfo Vieira vs. Armen Petrosyan

I’m going to forgive Armen for the late cancellation of his last fight with Vieira by once again gambling my money on him. Armen is just a better MMA fighter. Also, Armenian excellence, baby. 

Michael Johnson vs. Darrius Flowers 

I don’t care anymore, I rep STL. On the weekends, when nobody is watching, I disappear and travel to the Lou. A jazz piano plays while I chuckle about old memories and old regrets. The cycles of life. You are what you were. I can’t help but swing for the fences at Busch, at Kauffman, at Fenway. You are what you were and Michael Johnson is still a junkyard dog. As it ever was. I don’t care about the age, or the damage, give me the arch on my chest. Michael Johnson ML.

Brad Tavares vs. Gregory Rodrigues

Robocop! Robocop! Robocop! Tavares is a body builder, let’s face it. Working on your splits and super sets isn’t going to work when an orc is barreling straight at you relentlessly. An orc with ADCC championship level jiu-jitsu who, by the way, doesn’t want to use it because he just likes a slobberknocker that much. An orc who fought half a fight punch drunk, with his eye brow hanging off…that orc. Tavares works with a great camp but he won’t be able to handle robocop. Rodrigues TKO/KO.

Robert Bryczek vs. Ihor Potieria

I know people are hyping up Bryczek but my gut tells me Potieria because he’s so weird (both physically and stylistically). Potieria is an underdog so why not? Why not? 

Dan Ige vs. Andre Fili

I think this is going to be an incredibly close fight. I’m going to go with Ige because of the power factor but that’s it. I think Fili has sharpened his at-distance striking a lot in the last two years so that makes me nervous over 3 rounds. Ige is ok money but don’t be surprised if it goes to the judges and you end up sad. 

Jack Hermansson vs. Joe Pyfer

The Joe Pyfer hate is unwarranted. The guy was living in his car, have a heart. Just because Dana backs him doesn’t mean he’s an industry plant. I think Pyfer is the real deal in terms of both fighting a visually pleasing fight for judges and skill. He hits hard, we know that, but that’s not it with Pyfer. I think he’s a well rounded on the ground and that’s not going to bode well for Hermansson. This is 5 rounds and I just don’t see Jack having the gas tank to impose his style on Pyfer over 25 minutes. -250 is steep but I don’t see any other result. 

Nuevo Contrato Firmado

Estamos nadando. Esperando ver cuál nido de alegría se nos arrima próximo. Todos predispuestos a millones de diferentes configuraciones anatómicas. Con detalles de ruta prescritos en la concepción. Enredados en una honda de tecnológica e historia que nadie puede hacer cundir en paz. Nuestras almas rodando al último paradero. Con los muchísimos entre tiempos dentro de esta experiencia post-moderna del primer mundo. Hasta los más poderosos comprometidos en un jugo de ruleta rusa sin tiros en blanco.

Me tomo estos momentos pequeños para celebrar las buenas fortunas que se me han creado recientemente. Sin mucho verbo pero respirando un aire fresco. Bebiendo ron con las piernas colgadas fuera del bote. Satisfecho pero con un pesar colgado sobre mi cuerpo. Pesar porque ya no tengo a nadie con quien compartir estos momentos. Desde que tuve 16 años sabía que llegaría este día. Poquito a poquito me he desvanecido de las vidas de muchas personas. Por las razones privadas y por las que hay a plena vista. Yo también soy más que culpable por esta soledad - no es solo la falta de carácter de algunos personajes que me castiga con esta lejanía. Uno puede decir que se acostumbra con el tiempo al silencio pero siempre hay noches como esta. Durante los buenos tiempos ocurren. Me imagino como sería de diferente mi vida si tuviera la suerte de compartir estos triunfos con un amor o un amigo del alma. Pensamientos absurdos probablemente, pero se me ocurren mientras miro las señales de neón reflejados en mi fierro. 

No quiero ningunas segundas oportunidades pero pienso en la cara de ese amor. Como te cambie la sonrisa. Que pena como ocurrieron las cosas. Conociste a una réplica barata. Son malas cartas de la vida que no tienen justicia. Nunca faltó esa pasión que se me desembocaba pero no podía explicar. Llevaba esa misma vida doble que hoy me esposa a mi realidad. Con miedo de exponerte a la violencia al doblar la esquina. Ahora presiento que vives sin saber que hay algo más grande que ti. Por eso solo vale marchar adelante cuando el momento ya seque las palabras escritas. Se me hace más fácil detener el pozo agrio que llevo dentro con la propuesta de otro emprendimiento.

Marco el tiempo otra vez en cero. De nuevo me siento como una bola de cicatrices. Tan rápido paran de derramarse las botellas recién destapadas. Otra vez empiezo a despedazar un problema con la pequeña ayuda de un neurólogo de Yale, un siquiatra de la Ciudad de México y un luchador de Nebraska. Ya se me acaba el tiempo de sensibilidades. Lo que me da paz es saber que está siempre iba a ser mi vida. No puedo negar que soy un especialista. Los jefes con un nombre de letras me dijeron hace tiempo que la vida civil nunca estuvo en mis hojas de té. A la carga con la vanguardia dentro de este barril de crema. Préndanme la vela que llevo en la guantera que otro pinta calavera. Haciendo mis mejores intentos en preservar este bolsillo con unas cuantas semillas de sublime. Lo que no me falta es estupidez para seguir adelante. Bien programado en el arte del daño.