How’d I ride those highs and lows last Saturday? Huh? I need to know, you bastard. Can’t get me off this rodeo ride. Bucking it to sleep. You witnessed the oscillations and probably caught a nasty case of vertigo. Come on, now. From shotgun in my mouth due to the Robelis bath, to washed out with a +1100 $20 ticket in the span of 30 minutes. Wake up! It’s not that I won, it’s that I avoided the abyss. My finger is on the pulse and I would bet Robelis again if I could. This is becoming just one big algo party for me. Give it a year to calibrate to perfection. Call me Watson before you get there, baby. AWS wants to be me.
Demopolous vs. Ducote
I like the upset from Demopolous. She seems to just pull it out of the fire. Both these ladies are decent fighters so only make it a $20 flier. Why not?
Alateng vs. Rodrigues
I see Alateng at reasonable odds, I bet Alateng at reasonable odds. I feel like I’ve said that about him before. KISS. I’d like to think that Alateng would be one of the generals of Khan’s, “The Machine.” Because of this alone, he’s getting 5% of my betting money this weekend wagered on his ML. Where you at, Subutai? I think he’s selling wolf tickets.
Magomedov vs. Alves
I’m actually not going to spite bet here. Shocking, but true. It’s happening. I’m going to bet 5% of my money on the Abus TKO KO DQ. He’s finally adjusting to life off the juice box and I think this should be a gimme matchup (I know, Abus should never get that much trust, but I feel something).
Vidal vs. Gatto
I regret nothing. Judge a book by its cover. Veronica Hardy is becoming too much like Dan. This fight will prove me right. 5% of my money on the androgynous folk ML (Vidal). Comfortable losing some pocket here.
Martinez vs. Nolan
5% of my scratch this Saturday on Nolan TKO KO DQ. I’ll look stupid, maybe. Who cares. Too long, too Australian. Martinez has some suspect opponents next to his name, as well.
Pinheiro vs. Hill
I hate that I didn’t capitalize on this line earlier. All the way down to a -142 for my sweet Angela ‘Not Over The’ Hill. 25% of my dough this weekend on Hill ML. That’s a tough lady.
Yáñez vs. Salvador
Make this another $20 flier. I think Yáñez is a product of easy matchups and a few shining moments. I think Salvador is the lesser fighter - don’t get me wrong - but like we saw last weekend this is a game. You have to play the game of MMA and I have this weird feeling Salvador has that game down more than Adrian. If he can weather the first round and establish kicking range it’s a solid bet. Watch the Yáñez TKO KO DQ bet be the top earner this Saturday.
Gorimbo vs. Brahimaj
I’m always going to bet on the recently homeless African weight bully going up against the guy who spams takedowns. Every day and twice on Sunday. Gorimbo was eating scraps off Colby’s table. The Rock gave him a house. Can this me my black Joe Pyfer? I think he can. The visuals are to visceral. 20% of my cash this weekend is on Gorimbo ML.
Williams vs. Harris
Carlston Harris has won me money plenty of times in my life. It’s why I find him inspiring. Sure, he’s let me down before, but I just can’t turn my back on my favorite fighter from Dagestan who isn’t Dagestani and has never been there. He’s from fucking Guayana. Find that on the map. He inspires me. To be that massive of a snoozer and not be Russian is something special. 25% of my money this card goes on Mocambique’s head in the form of his ML.
Barboza vs. Murphy
This is probably too much money to put on him, but I’m going to because my amygdala is the size of a sesame seed. 10% of my dough on Barboza ML. We’re used to Lerone being the bigger man at 145 in most of his fights. Barboza, despite his lean figure, will be larger than Murphy. I also think Barboza will be slightly faster even though Murphy is younger. Speed comes with rhythm and the experience of Barboza is a whole samba. Next, I’m counting on Edson’s versatility in attacks along with his output. These are my reasons. The first round is going to be a tight asshole moment but I feel good now that I wrote out my thoughts. We see.
P.S. Throw your life savings on Tyson Fury.