Melfi

He tells me,

“What if I never get to prove it?”


I tell him,

“That is a scary thought. Maybe that was the only opportunity.”


He says,

“There is a devil down in Venice Beach who won’t hang out with me.”


I reply,

“Good. That’s a good thing. You’re growing.”


He looks down at his shoes and coyly says,

“I’m not even spitting up all of that purple stuff anymore.”


I tell him,

“That’s good, too. I’m sure people appreciate that.”


He wanders away for a second and - while facing away - mutters, 

“I’m even fine seeing people be grey in the shadows. That was so hard for me.”


I have to reply with enthusiasm,

“Amazing. I’m so happy for you.”


He quickly remarks,

“But my favorite monster isn’t here to see it.”


I don’t know whether that’s true or not so I just say,

“I know they meant a lot, but at least you’re feeling like yourself and that’s what matters.”


He smiles a little and says,

“I did make all those people push out air the other day.”


I tell him,

“Exactly. See, that’s new and you’re good at it.”


He replies,

“Or how the tribal drums sound with my metered milk spill.”


I happily respond,

“Yes, yes, exactly. That too. You knew you’d like that.”


He looks at the lake, his eyes reflecting long, spiked palm trees, and says,

“I don’t dance goofy-footed anymore. You don’t know how that feels.”


I do know, but I also know how much he’s been through so I say,

“I know how much you miss that. I’m sorry.”


He looks angry, then sad, then nods his head with understanding and says,

“Other people are dancing goofy-footed."


There is a cold pause, we both felt the room be filled with the heavy smoke of reminiscence.

"Other people are dancing goofy-footed with my favorite monster.”


I don’t know what to respond because I know that it could make the room cave in, but he was calm so, I said,

“And that’s good for them. We like that for them.”


He looked like a ghost but he smiled and nodded in agreement then said,

“I wouldn’t feel like a landfill inside if I didn’t agree with that.”


I was proud of him and said,

“It takes a lot of courage to appreciate that about oneself.”


He lost the light in his eyes, bled a cute little tear, and said,

"I don't like when you say that to me."


I had forgotten that upset him but I thought he should know it so I said,

"I'm just being honest, you know me."


He and I both know he doesn't belong in this atmosphere. 

It hits us at the same time.

He and I both know it's time for him to do his big shredding. 

It comes of little surprise.


We took in the silence.

We acknowledged the bends.

He puts both palms up facing the sky and whispers,

“Atomized.”